Friday, May 31, 2013

It's not just collecting stuff

I heard someone say that its just collecting stuff but, It's not just collecting stuff. It's a whole thought process. It's the inability to prioritize, to make reasonable decisions. The crippling effect of a perceived or real loss that has never been worked through or accepted as a reality. Their own frustration with themselves builds up until they explode and usually take it out on the ones they love & then the loved ones reject them even more & they feel they are not good enough, something is wrong with them & the feelings get turned towards things, the thought that things can't reject me, they are useful, everything is useful becomes overwhelming & the stuff takes over & adds to the crippling thoughts that now They have this mess & depression overtakes & they can't sort out their own feelings much less their stuff. Anxiety becomes a 24 hour feeling and the mind cannot handle it, therefore anymore stimulus causes a shut down and immobilizes the person. Perception of reality is not there, they get frustrated if things don't happen just the way they picture it in their head. Temper tantrums result and normal day to day activities get blown out of proportion. Criticizing others becomes easier than dealing with their own shortcomings. Empathy towards others becomes either an obsession or none at all depending on their mood. Excuses become their belief, and there is always an excuse for all their actions which they justify as ok. Apologizing becomes a way to cope with their faults, but nothing is never done to change it. Sorry becomes a fix all end to their wrong doings so that they can do it again. If only they can fix everything broken becomes a constant thought. Broken stuff is always usable, cannot throw away anything because it brings back pain that they perceive as throwing them away, as if they are not good enough to keep. It's a lack of self esteem & self respect. They are broken and don't want to be thrown away, they want to be fixed, but don't have the right tools to fix themselves, just like their stuff. 

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